It's not that I objectively hate how I look with makeup. My ballet stage makeup sure, I think it looks awful, but it only is really supposed to look good from 20 yards away under bright lights anyways. But the kind of makeup that I would hypothetically wear to school, I'm okay with it. In fact, if I'm happy with how my makeup looks, it boosts my confidence a tiny bit. Even throwing on a bit of mascara (the most I think I've ever worn to school) can make me feel better about myself for pictures or an interview. I guess for me, my rejection of wearing makeup to school is more of a personal practicality and comfort thing. (In no way do I think never wearing makeup to school is the optimal way of life or preferable thing for everyone, it just is for me.)
First of all, and this isn't necessarily the most important of the explanations, I can't imagine adding the time into my routine to do my makeup in the morning and take it off at night every single day. I don't get enough sleep as it is, and chopping more of that sleep off of every day would be tough. I know, no one said it had to be every day, but I like routines in the mornings, and deciding last minute that I feel like I want to wear makeup that day would not fly with me. Another practicality issue is that I'm not all that great at doing makeup, despite the hundred times I have had to do it for ballet. I know this would get better with practice, but I wouldn't even know how to start.
Another reason I don't wear makeup to school is for personal self-confidence reasons. I have always been a very self-conscious person. At least half of my mind always seems to be on wondering what other people think of me and how I am presenting myself every moment of every day. That is not necessarily a good thing, I know, so something I have been working on recently is trying to make sure that the person that people see when they look at me is really me. It's not the girl I think I want to be or the one I thought was cool when I chatted with her waiting in line at Einsteins. Part of that is just caring less about what people think of my actions. Another thing is worrying less about my physical appearance in other people's eyes. I have been very self-conscious about the little things of how I look for a long time, and I am only just recently learning what it means to appreciate my own appearances how they are. I think that makeup (outside the context of ballet) makes me feel like someone else, not me, on the outside. I am not a person who wears makeup, so when I do, I feel like I'm masking myself to look like someone else. None of this is to say that makeup is bad for everyone; many people feel like makeup adds to, or at the very least doesn't mess with, who they are when they are at school. I just don't think it's me specifically, so why should I wear it?
I wore makeup to homecoming (more than just mascara) and it was weird. I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to do a triple take. I did not feel like me, or at least the normal me, with enough makeup to change how I looked. Don't get me wrong, I looked nice and it was fun to feel pretty, but it was a strange experience and I still don't know how I feel about it. I wouldn't do that at school on a normal day, though.
So if you see me at school wearing makeup, the world is probably ending. Or I'm dressing up for something really, really special. It still won't be too much makeup though. Not on me.
(The irony is that as I finish writing this, I am at home wearing a full face of stage makeup from our dress rehearsal tonight. The stage is different because makeup is necessary there.)
I don't wear makeup, obviously, but this post was still relatable in many ways. I agree with your point that we should not put on things just to look good, especially if they cover up our true personality. However, I also think that these things like makeup or fancy clothes are fine for special occasions, because as the name suggests, these occasions are special, and what's the harm changing things up once in a while? Great post.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who wears makeup a lot, I think I do it less because I want to mask my appearance and more because it's just something fun that I like to do. It's sort of calming in the morning to go through a mind-numbing routine like that, and it's also one of the only creative outlets I have left. Sometimes I don't wear makeup though, and while it doesn't make me insecure, I definitely do the opposite thing that you do, and when I see myself in the mirror without makeup I think I look weird.
ReplyDeleteI also have never worn makeup to school. In general have never been into it but I think it is really cool because I watch those short videos on my instagram explore page and putting on makeup is basically an art form. Anyway I think a lot of what you said rings true for me, it's just not something I do so if I were to wear makeup I wouldn't feel like myself. I have wanted to try it out though but I also don't want to invest in makeup when I could be saving for something else I want. Great post!
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